What do divorce lawyers really tell their friends about how to hire the right divorce lawyer?
Recently, a close friend reached out with some difficult news. His marriage was in trouble, and he felt it was time to consult with a divorce law firm to understand the potential implications for him and his family.
Living across the country, my friend wanted my professional opinion on how to find the best divorce attorney for his situation.
I’m sharing the key advice I gave him, which can help anyone navigating this challenging process.
1. Seek an Experienced Divorce Lawyer Who Prioritizes Your Goals
Every individual, marriage, and family dynamic is unique. You need a divorce attorney with exceptional legal and negotiation skills, but that’s not the only crucial factor. Divorce is far from a standardized process. For instance, one person might prioritize a smooth transition for their children, while another may focus on resolving the divorce as quickly as possible. For yet another, the primary concern might be financial security – maximizing alimony or achieving a fair property division. To tailor your divorce to what truly matters to you, your lawyer must first understand and prioritize your specific goals.
As I advised my friend, “It’s essential to ensure they are genuinely interested in understanding your family, your circumstances, and what’s most important to you.”
(Frankly, if a law firm doesn’t highlight this client-centered approach prominently on their website, it’s a strong indicator that they might not prioritize your individual needs.)
Many technically proficient divorce lawyers fall into the trap of applying a one-size-fits-all approach. They concentrate on what they perceive as “winning” or achieving a favorable outcome based on their past experiences. However, if their definition of “winning” doesn’t align with your personal goals, what value does it truly hold for you?
Key Takeaway: Your divorce lawyer must be invested in understanding and achieving your desired outcomes for life after divorce.
Explore further: First Steps
2. Find a Divorce Attorney Who Offers Honest Counsel, Even When It’s Uncomfortable
Sometimes, your desired outcomes might not be realistically achievable in court or agreeable to your spouse. You need to be aware of this possibility. As you make critical decisions about your case, you need your lawyer’s honest assessment, especially when they have to deliver news you might not want to hear.
This also extends to transparency about your financial standing with the firm, including clear, timely billing practices and open conversations about your current balance and potential legal fees associated with different strategic choices. You need to make informed decisions about your legal strategy with complete clarity.
Key Takeaway: Your divorce attorney must provide candid advice, even when it’s not what you want to hear, ensuring you have a realistic understanding of your situation.
Further Reading: How Do Legal Fees Work in a Connecticut Divorce?
Related Video: The Cost of Divorce in Connecticut
3. Choose a Dedicated Team of Family Law Attorneys at a Specialized Divorce Law Firm
The adage “jack of all trades, master of none” is highly relevant when selecting a divorce attorney. You wouldn’t consult a general surgeon for brain surgery, and similarly, you shouldn’t hire a general practice attorney for your complex family law case.
Time is a finite resource, and family and divorce law is constantly evolving. An attorney who handles diverse legal areas like real estate and business disputes must divide their attention across multiple fields, diluting their expertise in family law. You need a lawyer whose sole focus is family law, free from such distractions.
Opting for a divorce and family law firm over a solo practitioner is also crucial. Ensure the firm has sufficient staff and resources to provide the attention and support you deserve. You want assurance that if your primary lawyer is in court or unavailable, another experienced family law attorney and a dedicated paralegal are readily available to support you and keep your case on track.
Key Takeaway: Your attorney should be part of a legal team specializing exclusively in divorce and family law, ensuring focused expertise and comprehensive support.
Learn More: Divorce Information and Facts
4. Select Divorce Attorneys Proficient in Litigation, Collaborative Divorce, and Mediation
I also emphasized to my friend the importance of choosing a divorce and family law firm with attorneys experienced in all three primary divorce methods: litigation, collaborative divorce, and mediation.
Once a legal team understands your values and objectives (as highlighted in Tip #1), they should be able to clearly explain the advantages and disadvantages of each divorce approach. This empowers you to choose the process that best suits your individual needs, your spouse’s situation, and, most importantly, the well-being of your children, if applicable.
I stressed to my friend, “The reason I’m emphasizing this is because the decision of how you navigate your divorce will profoundly impact you and your family for years to come. For example, you shouldn’t end up in a contentious litigated divorce simply because the lawyer you consulted only specializes in litigation, rather than because it’s truly the best path for your family.”
The process you choose for your divorce is critical and has long-term consequences. Schedule an initial consultation with a law firm whose attorneys are skilled in all three approaches. This ensures you receive informed guidance to select the most appropriate divorce process for your specific circumstances.
Key Takeaway: When working with a goal-oriented divorce lawyer, the divorce process you choose should be based on your best interests, not limited by your attorney’s preferences or lack of experience in different methods.
Understand Your Options: What Should I Expect at My Initial Divorce Consultation?
5. Ensure Compatibility and a Good Rapport with Your Divorce Lawyer
This final tip is about “trusting your gut”—it’s subjective but incredibly important. You must feel comfortable and confident with the legal team you hire to ensure effective collaboration. You need to connect with them on a personal level. Your experience should feel organized, supportive, and reassuring. You and your legal team will be spending considerable time discussing deeply personal matters, so it’s vital to ensure it’s a good “fit” in terms of communication style and personal connection.
Key Takeaway: Trust your instincts and choose a lawyer with whom you feel comfortable and understood.
Take Action: First Steps
Freed Marcroft’s attorneys provide dedicated legal support in divorce and family law, prioritizing client well-being throughout the process.
To discuss your situation and how we can assist you, please contact us here or call us at 860-560-8160.
